Sounds like the kind of trip I'd like to do when in Aus next year
Can't argue about the Barkbusters and your other observations, but after a spill on hard dirt road (slipped into a rut/ditch) my SW Motech crash bars caused unnecessary damage to the bike due to the mounting plates that bent, shifting the bars over to one side and causing damage to the tank, radiator and engine cylinder side plate. I opted not to replace the crash bars even though insurance would have paid for it.
For falling over on a paved road without sliding forward for the bars to catch on something, they will protect those cheap tank plastic protectors on a Tenere.
For attaching spots or side bags and increasing weight they serve a purpose. But sorry that's just my opinion and for the XTZ