A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the sailor asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off".
"Wow!" said the sailor . "What about the hook"?
"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand clean off."
"Incredible!" remarked the sailor . "How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull **** into my eye", replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to seagull ****?" the sailor asked.
"Well..." said the pirate, "That was my first day with the hook."